Chase Snyder | Co-Pastor, FBC Loganville
How to Talk to Your Kid About School Shootings
As a parent, addressing the topic of school shootings with your children is one of the most challenging conversations you'll have.
And this week we have news of yet another school shooting—and this one happened in our community.
We live in a world where evil exists, and sometimes it shows up in tragic and frightening ways. It is tempting to wish that we could shield our children from the harsh realities of the world. It’s crucial to equip them with understanding, comfort, and the assurance of God's presence, even in dark times.
Here are a few thoughts to help you have conversations with your children about school shootings and mass violence:
1. Don’t Avoid the Conversation
Our natural instinct may be to protect our kids from the pain and fear associated with school shootings by not talking about them. However, avoiding the conversation can lead to confusion, anxiety, and a sense of isolation. Kids hear about these events from peers, teachers, or the media, and if we don’t provide guidance, they’ll form their own narratives, which may not be accurate or helpful.
Approach the conversation with prayer and ask God to give you the right words. Remember, this is an opportunity to parent your children through their fears and help them see the world with a biblical perspective.
2. Speak on Their Age Level
Each child’s maturity varies from age to age. You must talk to your child with consideration for their age and maturity level. Here are some general guidelines. (Emphasis on “general” because your child’s maturity level might differ from these categories.)
Ages 0-4: Babies and preschoolers are too young to understand what’s happening in the world. The best approach is simply to hold them close, offer comfort, and provide a sense of safety through your presence.
Don’t feel like a bad parent if your child is having a hard time processing questions about a school shooting. Traumas like this are difficult to process. Remember that you can reach out to your pastor, the kid or student pastor, or a school counselor to meet with your child.
3. Discuss the Problem of Sin
As Christians, we understand that sin is the root of all evil. It’s important to have an age-appropriate conversation about how sin is in the world and why some people choose to do harmful things. While sin is a reality in our world, so is God’s grace and redemption through Jesus. Use this as an opportunity to talk about the importance of prayer, forgiveness, and the hope we have in Jesus.
4. Reassure Them That You Want to Keep Them Safe
One of the most powerful things you can do as a parent is to reassure your children of their safety. Let them know that you, their teachers, and many others are committed to protecting them. Express your own commitment to their well-being and safety, and let them know it’s okay to come to you with their fears and worries.
5. Pray for Those Affected
Take a moment to pray with your child for those affected by the tragedy. You might say a prayer asking God to comfort the victims, their families, and all those impacted by the event. Pray for peace, wisdom for leaders, and for God’s protection over schools everywhere. This teaches your child the importance of turning to God in prayer during difficult times.
6. Limit Your Child’s Interaction with the News/Media
In the age of smartphones and 24-hour news cycles, information—and often misinformation—spreads rapidly. While you don’t want to completely shelter your child, it’s important to limit their exposure to potentially traumatizing news coverage. The media often overshares graphic details that can heighten fear and anxiety. Social medias quickly fill up with misinformation and rumors. Be mindful of how much your child is watching and step in to offer context and guidance as needed.
7. Allow Them to Ask Questions
Encourage your child to ask questions, no matter how difficult they may be. They might ask, "Why would someone do that?" or "Could it happen here?" Be honest in your answers while keeping their age and maturity in mind. It’s okay to admit when you don’t have all the answers, and it’s important to affirm their feelings.
8. Follow Up
All people, including children, take time to process traumatic news. They may initially seem fine but start to show signs of anxiety or sadness later on. Make it a point to check in with them over the next few days to see how they’re doing. You checking in reminds them that they’re not alone to process their thoughts and emotions.
9. Talk About How Your Child’s School is Safe
Assure your child that their school has procedures in place to keep students safe. Be specific when explaining safety procedures like lockdown drills, locked front doors, surveillance cameras, and the presence of school resource officers. Emphasize that these steps are in place to protect them and that everyone in their school community is working together to maintain a safe campus.
10. Emphasize the Importance of Reporting Threats or Concerning Behavior
Empower your child by talking about the importance of speaking up if they hear or see something that doesn’t seem right. Let them know it’s okay to report if a friend makes a threatening comment or if they feel uneasy about something they’ve witnessed. Reporting is a responsible and courageous action that can help prevent harm and keep their school safe.
Conclusion
Talking to your kids about school shootings is never easy, but as Christian parents, we have the unique opportunity to guide our children through these conversations with wisdom, faith, and compassion. By being open, honest, and reassuring, you can help your child navigate their fears and find peace in knowing that God is in control, even in the midst of chaos. As you have these conversations, lean on God’s promise in Psalm 46:1: "God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble."
As a parent, addressing the topic of school shootings with your children is one of the most challenging conversations you'll have.
And this week we have news of yet another school shooting—and this one happened in our community.
We live in a world where evil exists, and sometimes it shows up in tragic and frightening ways. It is tempting to wish that we could shield our children from the harsh realities of the world. It’s crucial to equip them with understanding, comfort, and the assurance of God's presence, even in dark times.
Here are a few thoughts to help you have conversations with your children about school shootings and mass violence:
1. Don’t Avoid the Conversation
Our natural instinct may be to protect our kids from the pain and fear associated with school shootings by not talking about them. However, avoiding the conversation can lead to confusion, anxiety, and a sense of isolation. Kids hear about these events from peers, teachers, or the media, and if we don’t provide guidance, they’ll form their own narratives, which may not be accurate or helpful.
Approach the conversation with prayer and ask God to give you the right words. Remember, this is an opportunity to parent your children through their fears and help them see the world with a biblical perspective.
2. Speak on Their Age Level
Each child’s maturity varies from age to age. You must talk to your child with consideration for their age and maturity level. Here are some general guidelines. (Emphasis on “general” because your child’s maturity level might differ from these categories.)
Ages 0-4: Babies and preschoolers are too young to understand what’s happening in the world. The best approach is simply to hold them close, offer comfort, and provide a sense of safety through your presence.
- Ages 5-9: Children in elementary school are starting to grasp that there is evil in the world. When discussing school shootings, keep it brief and simple. You might say, "Sometimes, people make very bad choices that hurt others, and it's hard for us to understand why." Avoid graphic details and focus on the fact that most people are good and that there are many people working to keep them safe.
- Ages 10-13: Middle school kids have varying levels of maturity, so gauge where your child is emotionally. They might express confusion or fear, which is normal. Be honest but gentle. Provide reassurance through comforting words, reminding them that you and their teachers are doing everything possible to keep them safe. It is likely that your middle schooler will have a bunch of questions. Answer questions on their maturity level and don’t be nervous about saying, “That is a big question and we can talk more about that later on,” if your child isn’t ready to understand the questions they are asking.
- Ages 14-18: Teenagers are more capable of understanding the gravity of a tragedy like a school shooting. Be honest about the facts but avoid oversharing details that might overwhelm them. Give them space and time to process what you’ve discussed, but don’t forget to follow up with them, ask how they’re feeling, and offer to talk more if they need to. Remember, they’re navigating complex emotions and might need your guidance on how to cope.
Don’t feel like a bad parent if your child is having a hard time processing questions about a school shooting. Traumas like this are difficult to process. Remember that you can reach out to your pastor, the kid or student pastor, or a school counselor to meet with your child.
3. Discuss the Problem of Sin
As Christians, we understand that sin is the root of all evil. It’s important to have an age-appropriate conversation about how sin is in the world and why some people choose to do harmful things. While sin is a reality in our world, so is God’s grace and redemption through Jesus. Use this as an opportunity to talk about the importance of prayer, forgiveness, and the hope we have in Jesus.
4. Reassure Them That You Want to Keep Them Safe
One of the most powerful things you can do as a parent is to reassure your children of their safety. Let them know that you, their teachers, and many others are committed to protecting them. Express your own commitment to their well-being and safety, and let them know it’s okay to come to you with their fears and worries.
5. Pray for Those Affected
Take a moment to pray with your child for those affected by the tragedy. You might say a prayer asking God to comfort the victims, their families, and all those impacted by the event. Pray for peace, wisdom for leaders, and for God’s protection over schools everywhere. This teaches your child the importance of turning to God in prayer during difficult times.
6. Limit Your Child’s Interaction with the News/Media
In the age of smartphones and 24-hour news cycles, information—and often misinformation—spreads rapidly. While you don’t want to completely shelter your child, it’s important to limit their exposure to potentially traumatizing news coverage. The media often overshares graphic details that can heighten fear and anxiety. Social medias quickly fill up with misinformation and rumors. Be mindful of how much your child is watching and step in to offer context and guidance as needed.
7. Allow Them to Ask Questions
Encourage your child to ask questions, no matter how difficult they may be. They might ask, "Why would someone do that?" or "Could it happen here?" Be honest in your answers while keeping their age and maturity in mind. It’s okay to admit when you don’t have all the answers, and it’s important to affirm their feelings.
8. Follow Up
All people, including children, take time to process traumatic news. They may initially seem fine but start to show signs of anxiety or sadness later on. Make it a point to check in with them over the next few days to see how they’re doing. You checking in reminds them that they’re not alone to process their thoughts and emotions.
9. Talk About How Your Child’s School is Safe
Assure your child that their school has procedures in place to keep students safe. Be specific when explaining safety procedures like lockdown drills, locked front doors, surveillance cameras, and the presence of school resource officers. Emphasize that these steps are in place to protect them and that everyone in their school community is working together to maintain a safe campus.
10. Emphasize the Importance of Reporting Threats or Concerning Behavior
Empower your child by talking about the importance of speaking up if they hear or see something that doesn’t seem right. Let them know it’s okay to report if a friend makes a threatening comment or if they feel uneasy about something they’ve witnessed. Reporting is a responsible and courageous action that can help prevent harm and keep their school safe.
Conclusion
Talking to your kids about school shootings is never easy, but as Christian parents, we have the unique opportunity to guide our children through these conversations with wisdom, faith, and compassion. By being open, honest, and reassuring, you can help your child navigate their fears and find peace in knowing that God is in control, even in the midst of chaos. As you have these conversations, lean on God’s promise in Psalm 46:1: "God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble."
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Chase Snyder
Pastor Chase is a Co-Pastor at FBC Loganville. He and his wife, Annie, and their two kids have been at FBC Loganville since 2017. His heart is to help people faithfully follow Jesus. Chase loves spending time with his family, being outdoors, drinking strong coffee, reading, and cheering on the Tennessee Volunteers.